Hello Inga and Friends Everywhere!
We thought you may have missed Ian reading out this message yesterday morning. Vivienne forwarded it to Ian to prove women can laugh at themselves!
New Procedures At The ATM MACHINE !
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling Customers to withdraw cash without leaving Their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are Requested to use the procedures outlined Below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been Developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for Your gender..'
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MALE (Murphy) PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
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FEMALE (Dora) PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required Amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on To passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call Them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access To machine due to its excessive distance From the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary With your PIN written on the inside Back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt..
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet And place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register And place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22.. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, And place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver Waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26.. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake
5 comments:
Hello Friends!
I'm afraid Dora's not speaking to me again!
Luv Murphy xx
Hello everyone, Many years ago Jean passed her driving test at the first attempt. She was very pleased with herself. A cushion came flying my way when I suggested she had passed first time cos the examiner didn't have the bottle to go through all that agaian....
Hi Sid,
I hate to tell you but I passed mine first time too. In more recent years I and three male colleagues (one of whom was our bus driver) took the Transport Unlimited minibus test. I was the only one who passed! The youngest of the three very unkindly said that I'd only passed because I was used to driving clapped out vehicles. The minibus they'd supplied came out of the ark, and we needed to double-de-clutch to change down through the gears. It's true that when I learnt to drive we had to double-de-clutch when driving some vehicles. So I guess I did have more experiece than the others. One of my colleagues completely lost his temper with the examiner, and threw his pen at him when told he'd failed. Needless to say a complaint was registered!
Hello everyone,
(whispers) I've never had a civilian driving test, ssh.
I had a driving course when with the Northumberland Hussars, and the test was conducted by the Adjutant. That was in the days of the "little red book" type driving licence. I went on to have an armoured fighting vehicle licence, that used to cause some strange looks when it was renewed every three years. (as were all licences in those days)
My how the time has flown...
I hate to tell you this but - I have a built-in ATM machine in my business which does not require pass words or parking spaces. Any cash coming in is condemned to going out at approximately the same speed. Couldn't get any more female than that, could I :-)) ?
Talking about females, I am listening to Geoff Barker's Rock and Roll Party on Radio Bristol and he is interviewing Wanda Jackson who is being considered for induction into the Rock'n Roll Hall of Fame. She performed at the same time as Elvis did. Even though I had heard one of her songs, I can honestly say her name was not known to me. Oh, the power of the media! They can make or break anybody, anywhere!
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