The following have all appeared in church magazines so let us thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
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Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.
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Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation .
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'
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12 comments:
Isn't it lovely to start the day with a smile? I know a couple of chuchgoers who will receive copies of these. Really Sid, disney spells ...
This is actually better than hearing them on Truckshunters. I used to forget them by the next morning!
When I get home those Howlers are being printed off.
Thanks Vivienne.
Beijing has ordered all personel computers sold in China from the 1st July to be pre-installed with the Green Dam software, which it says is designed to block pornographic and violent images.
A trial of the program suggested that it may be of limited use to parents.
When activated the software blocks images of Garfield the cat, dishes of flesh coloured cooked pork and one search engine blocked a close up image of Johnny Depps face.
As you might guess China declined to respond to any criticisms of the software.
Sri Lankan police have arrested an astrologer for giving gloomy predictions. Chandrasiri Bandara was taken by the police on Thursday. He had predicted the government would be unable to stop rising living costs.
And finally...
Two frogs have been 'married' in a ceremony in the western Indian state of Maharashtra to usher in the delayed monsoon rains. If the frogs are given a full religious service the rains start within days. ( a bit like real life for some)
Looks like people are making the most of the sunshine, can't blame them. I'm wondering have eventually given up on Truckshunters ...
Sorry, I meant has everyone eventually given up on Truckshunters?
Here's a riddle to keep the old grey matter going:
I weaken all men for hours each day. I show you strange visions while you are away. I take you by night, by day take you back, none suffer to have me, but do from my lack. What am I?
Hi Maureen,
Is it Sleep?
Love,
Vivienne xxx
You get the gold star for today Vivienne. Well done. Can you remember when Gilly used to join in with the anagrams, although she didn't really understand them? bless her, we had some laughs didn't we? I miss her and hope that everything is ok with her.
I hardly got past the first line of your riddle Maureen...was sure the answer was 'women'.
I'll send you a photo that depicts the source of those wonderous country smells.
Folks say it gives you an appetite...to be honest I'm not sure about that.
The photo....meant send it to M&D's.
Sid, I dread to think what that photo depicts ... do you think that Dora will publish it? I don't want to offend her sensibilities!
I think Dora will see the funny side of it, just don't look before you have your tea....
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